Posts tagged “grief”

 
Is recovery from grief really possible? 
 
This question is often the topic of debate, as those who have suffered a loss know that their lives will never be the same again. It has also been said that we do not recover from grief, but rather that we learn to live with it over time. 
 
So...what is recovery? 
 
When we refer to recovery in the context of the Grief Recovery Method, we refer to the set of action steps that allow grievers to heal the pain that they are experiencing as the result of a specific loss. We also discuss the myths that our society continues to pass down that can compound the feelings of sadness and isolation that grievers are already experiencing. 
recovery from grief
Is grief really the “price of love”? 
 
There have been many positive developments in the dialogue people are having about grief in recent years. This is an improvement from earlier times when grief was only discussed in private or not at all. 
 
The increase in discussion around the topic unfortunately does not mean that misinformation surrounding grief ceases to exist. In fact, the wealth of information at our fingertips and the speed at which material is shared on the internet mean that misinformation tends to spread more quickly than ever before. Since this can contribute to the isolation of grievers and eventually lead to unresolved grief, we think it is important to continue spreading awareness of the myths surrounding loss and bereavement. 
grief, bereavement
 
This weekend mothers all over the UK will be receiving gifts from their children and partners to celebrate motherhood. We would like to look at the holiday from a less common perspective, acknowledging those who may be experiencing more painful emotions than happy ones on Mothering Sunday. 
 
Some of us may find this occasion difficult to celebrate because we have never been able to experience motherhood even though it has been one of our hopes and dreams. 
 
Others may struggle with this day because motherhood has not been everything they expected it to be. 
When you speak to people, do you minimise your heartaches? 
 
“I know I should be grateful, but…” 
 
“I know it could be worse, but...” 
 
“I know I haven’t really lost anything, but...” 
 
It seems universal that we downplay the struggles in our lives because we are taught to be grateful, stay positive, or that someone always has it worse than we do. We see it every day in our Grief Recovery programmes – people who are grieving but aren’t giving themselves permission to grieve. 
To say that people are uncomfortable with emotions such as sadness, rage or fear – especially after a personal loss – is an understatement. 
 
Sit back for a moment and think about the times in your life when you were feeling sad and tried to talk about those feelings with others. On a few occasions your friend or family member may have simply listened without analysis, criticism or judgement. More often than not, however, you may have received one of the following responses:- 
 
One of the most common questions we get asked is "What is the difference between what you do and Cruse?" 
There are lots of points of difference, here and in the video Carole Henderson explains the top five key ways that the Grief Recovery Method and Certified Grief Recovery Specialists are different to Cruse and Cruse Bereavement Support Workers. 
This week Grief Recovery Specialist and Trainer Phyl Edmonds is speaking at the Mental Health Forward Thinking Implementation Plan Conference in Manchester. This five-year major transformation programme for mental health sets out how services will help reach a million more people a year by 2022. 
The plan commits to improving access to high-quality care, 
This week I’m exhibiting at the National Conference in Pregnancy and Infant Loss, designed for professional services to collaborate, to ensure high levels of bereavement care. From working with experienced professionals, as well as bereaved parents, it’s clear that pregnancy and infant loss is still very much a taboo subject. 
 
At the frontline of parental grief, how can professional services be best equipped to support parents who have lost an infant? Currently mothers get very little support, and fathers are more often than not completely forgotten. 
 
In my experience many parents who have suffered the loss of a child don’t feel able to move beyond initial grief. The idea that you’ll “never get over” the death of a child is a common piece of misinformation, potentially leading to parents seeking out information and emotions to match. In addition, couples can become angry with each other, as inevitably we all grieve in our individual ways, and one might “be strong” to support the other but then be perceived to “not loved our baby like I did”. By providing initial support to parents and equipping them in early in their grief, professional services could have a positive effect on the long-term recovery from grief. 
 
The Grief Recovery Method was created when John James lost his three-day-old baby. While a lot has improved since then, there is still a long way to go to get the recognition for the emotional pain of any infant loss, no matter the age or gestation. 
 
The reason we will be exhibiting at the conference is to introduce professional services - midwives, ambulance services, funeral directors, police officers, and anyone else who comes into contact with these parents in the short- and long term - to the Grief Recovery Method Certification Training that we provide. We give staff and volunteers the tools to help clients appropriately, and already work with a number of organisations. The training covers a mix of classroom training, practical experience, learning materials and ongoing individual support. 
 
In the last post I talked about one of the myths about Grief, the idea that time heals. This time I thought I’d share a question we get asked regularly at Grief Recovery this from Sharon is typical: 
 
“Do we ever really “recover”? It is almost four years since I lost my husband to liver disease. The holidays are still difficult to bear. He would have just had a birthday on which I did not have a good day. I can’t celebrate my birthday anymore as he died on this day. Don’t we just deal with it more so than recover from it?” 
 
Our Reply: 

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