Yes it’s that time of year again. Christmas. Some of you reading this will be facing your first Christmas alone and wondering how on earth you’re going to cope. Others will be wondering how on earth they’re going to cope this time. 
 
Many people will noticing a person shaped hole in their heart many years after the loss. 
Saturday night is a time when I like to curl up on my sofa, dogs on my feet and be entertained, like many people in these tough times that means switching on the TV rather than going out and one of my current favourites is the programme “Merlin”. An amusing nonsense about the young wizard and a young King Arthur, generally there’s a moral about doing the right thing but it’s fairly light handed. This week though, there was a moment near the end that I found really profound. If you haven’t seen it yet and want to – stop reading now! 
In the last post I talked about one of the myths about Grief, the idea that time heals. This time I thought I’d share a question we get asked regularly at Grief Recovery this from Sharon is typical: 
 
“Do we ever really “recover”? It is almost four years since I lost my husband to liver disease. The holidays are still difficult to bear. He would have just had a birthday on which I did not have a good day. I can’t celebrate my birthday anymore as he died on this day. Don’t we just deal with it more so than recover from it?” 
 
Our Reply: 
One of the first things I heard said to me after my husband died was “time is a great healer”. I was always struck dumb by this comment – I found the idea that I had to wait for time to come and fix me odd even though I’ve been hearing that assertion for years. 
 
Then by chance I came across the Grief Recovery Handbook by John James and Russell Friedman and suddenly here was someone talking sense!